The interesting thing about reality is that it is subjective. However we all often strive to experience a different one than our own, and develop highly creative methods of avoidance and distraction. Most of us know very clearly what it is that we are meant to do and to be; so why then are so many of us dissatisfied, discouraged or disappointed with the way aspects of our lives are unfolding… especially when it comes to the way we relate to people, ourselves and God? Why don’t we just do what we are meant to do? If it was just a matter of awareness I think we could all get there, and then eradicate the blockages. But its more than that. It’s surrendering to the spirit of truth, and many times allowing outside voices to agitate us enough to see past the shallow landscape of our own perspective.
I have been traveling the world for over 5 years running workshops for people who want more fulfilling relationships than what they are currently experiencing in life. From Honduras, to Finland, to Shanghai, and even up in Saskatoon Canada I have met with people and confirmed a reality about us humans… We aren’t made to live disconnected. Regardless of culture, upbringing, or experience, humans were made to know each other and be known. Seems pretty simple huh? Then why do I find a similar epidemic all over the world? More and more single people feeling desperate to find companionship, along with people in relationships or marriages who enviously reminisce upon the days of single-hood again. If we are built with this inherent desire shouldn’t the mental software to achieve the goal be programmed within us as well? I believe it is. However we also must take into account the psychological and spiritual effects of the world around us. More choice equals more freedom and therefore more efficient happiness right? Wrong. More and faster information equals better connection and awareness right? Not necessarily. I have worked with countless people around the world who ask “why am I unable to be happy?” “why cant I get what I want?”. And, there is the million dollar question: what is it you want exactly? Many of us don’t even know why we want what we want… Marriage and relationship with God included. However, I have found that with a willingness to do the work, receive input, and confront that terrifying yet empowering specter called truth, we can rectify the discrepancy between what will fulfill us and what has been a safe plan B that we’ve been willing to settle for for far too long.
Growing up as a son of a therapist (that almost sounds like derogatory term, but it’s not) I was forced to look at life and relationships from a different perspective. “Why”, was a frequently used word when discussing the particulars of life. Whether it was bible devotional time during dinner or having a family discussion regarding a conflict between two of us, understanding the “why” was a highly regarded pursuit.
My father’s style of incisive counseling became a familiar modus operandi for me when dealing with friends, romantic relationships and my connection with God. I was subconsciously trained to love and seek the truth regardless of the effects of its discovery. Becoming acquainted with truth can be a daunting endeavor, however, and until that introduction takes place the pathway to wisdom is often clouded by history and fear. Why do I do what I do? I would say that I am burdened with truth and fascinated with the human condition for intimacy. I can’t help but ask why, and then turn over every stone until I get an answer.